Feb 9

Feb 9 Reasons I Don't Share My Children On Social Media

Nice to see you back for another weekly blog post! Today, I’m sharing reasons why we don’t share our children on social media. I remember 7 years ago when my husband and I welcomed our first child into this world. We had already had the conversation of whether, or not we would put our children on social media, and we both felt strongly that the answer was “NO.”

Once we determined that we both wouldn’t feel comfortable putting our first born on social media, we set that boundary with ourselves, as well as with our friends and family. We did this by having prior discussion, and again once more when baby was born. In our birth announcement text message to family and friends we included the exciting update with baby’s photo, name, birth weight, and ending with, “Please do not announce, share, or post baby’s photo on any platforms of social media as we have decided not to share our children online for privacy reasons. Thank you so much for your understanding!” Five children later we feel so much relief, and confirmation that we made the right decision for us. We’re also thankful for the respect given to us by loved ones who supported our decision, and even by those who, at the time, “didn’t see the big deal.”

Not posting your children on social media definitely goes against the grain of society today, where “if you have it, you flaunt it.” However, at the end of the day, our children are our responsibility, and no one else’s. Only you, and your husband have been entrusted to make these tough decisions that will affect your family. I’m happy to say that the decision we’ve made to keep our children off of social media is one that allows us to sleep great at night. For this reason, I want to encourage any one that shares our conviction to take the leap.

Disclaimer: I realize that every family dynamic is different, and life, outlook, and circumstances are not a “one size fits all.” There are many families I heavily respect who DO choose to share their children on social media, (and others who make it hard to). This post is an open and honest discussion on why WE as a family have chosen not to. There is 0 intent in my heart to offend any mom who feels differently. I respect your choice as a mother. If this article leads you to change your stance, then be my guest, but even if it doesn’t, perhaps you will have a better understanding on why we have chosen this path. Enjoy!

1.Privacy Concerns

It’s become more and more clear that the internet can be a dangerous place…a stomping ground for predators if you will. Sadly, even the most innocent-looking posts of children can be misused by the wrong people, and exploited by malicious individuals. Pedophiles in particular have been known to lurk around finding images of innocent children to use for their own evil. Even the possibility of this occurring to my children makes the internet a place I’m immediately unwilling to present them.

Another layer is that I have a strong discomfort with the idea of strangers (whether a threat, or not) viewing intimate moments of my children, and gaining this false idea that they “know them,” when in reality NO relationship exists. I’ll never forget watching an episode of Maury from back in the day. A deranged woman had printed off countless photos of another woman’s children on social media, and obsessively framed them throughout her home, convinced in her own mind and sharing with others that they were HERS. I couldn’t un-see that scenario. It’s important to realize that once images, or videos of your children are shared online, they become permanent. Even if you decide to delete them later, they can be saved, shared, or stored by others, which as I mentioned can potentially expose them to privacy risks.

2. Safety Concerns

Another reason we chose not to put our children on social media stems from our belief that strangers should not have access to our children’s personal information. We’ve witnessed this unfold time and time again as many well-intentioned moms and family members share information of their children online that may put them at risk. This may include where they live, the locations they frequently visit, the activities they participate in, their sensitive medical info, their names, the schools they go to, their interests, daily routines, etc. Sadly, this information can maliciously be used against them, and create dangerous scenarios to any stranger having access to them.

Of course, you can “proactively prepare and educate your children” for these scenarios, but to us this was still an unecessary aspect of life we did not want them to experience. Sharing pictures or personal details of children can also make them vulnerable to unecessary criticism, cyberbullying, or other forms of exploitation. We didn’t see the benefits of exposing children to this at a young age. Even if your child is unaware of these negative comments, or well-prepared for them, we see this as a potential opportunity to negatively impact a child’s mental health.

3. Respect for Our Children as Persons

I’m sure most moms would have a similar stance on their own children, but we think our children are pretty amazing, haha! They’re beautiful, loving, kind, talented, silly, and more. In fact, I have no doubt that sharing my children with the world would undoubtedly gain me numerous amounts of followers, likes, and establish more of a personal connection with online users. The thing is, I refuse to profit off of my kids, use them intentionally, or even allow likes or growth to become a result of them on social media. I want to respect their personhood, their childhood, and treat them as children, not content.

Most young children don’t understand the ramifications, and aren’t truly able to give informed consent about being featured online. As they grow older, they may regret, or disagree with their images, or personal information being shared on social media. They may even feel violated by decisions made for them when they were younger. This is an area we feel strongly we do not even want to cross, and not having crossed it has given us such peace of mind.

4. Desiring a Social Media-Free Culture at Home

I’m so thankful to have experienced most of my childhood OFF of social media. I don’t have the experience of my parents putting me on social media because it didn’t exist back then. I grew up playing outside all day with friends because I wanted to, and with no other ulterior motives for outside approval. I believe I was a very confident and secure child in part because I knew who I was in Christ, and wasn’t holding participating in trends, or what others thought of me in high regard. Hypothetically, if my parents had put me on social media, I believe I would later have had a huge problem with it because I enjoy my peace and privacy as an adult on many levels. I’m sure I would have acknowledged their “good intentions,” but I know I wouldn’t have personally liked being on display, and would’ve felt heavily violated.

This leads me to want to give my children a social media free childhood like I had. I don’t want their family life to revolve around technology which, as displayed by society, is already far beyond my preference and comfort level. I want the primary reason for capturing special moments to be for US to enjoy as a family, and not for strangers. (You may even notice I RARELY use social media when my children are present.) I don’t want my children to look for acceptance or likes, or to get thrown early into the world of comparison and anxiety. This is already a very real and painful part of the “real world” that exists, and they will undeniably face these issues in life without the extra addition of social media.

Thanks for reading the reasons we don’t share our children online. While I know everyone will have a different take on the topic, it’s a decision we have never regretted, or looked back on. If you are currently sharing your children on social media, are you truly at peace? While I don’t think you need to come to our same conclusion, I think it’s an important question that every parent should ask themselves. I’m excited to read your take in the comments below. Hope you all have a wonderful day!