How to Prepare Your Child for a Sibling
Congratulations! By the title it seems you are either expecting, trying to conceive, or just a good friend supporting my blog! Yay to all the above! I'm a recent mama of two, and while it's fresh in my mind, I thought I'd share how I got my 22 month old son ready to adore his newborn sister! (PS. It's four months later, and I can confidently say the advice below works!)
You may have heard that children thrive off of routines. This is totally accurate! A routine gives children a sense of security because they know what to expect, and when to expect it. All your child has ever known is that he is the center of your world...and that is suddenly all about to change. Establishing a consistent routine that can continue to exist after baby arrives is crucial. One way this can be implemented is by spending intentional time with your firstborn. After my daughter was born, my husband continued taking my son to get coffee every morning, while I hung back with baby. This not only provided a sense of normalcy for my son, but it allowed for great one on one time with "Dada," and an opportunity for him to get outside and stretch his legs! (Cabin fever is real for kids too, you know!)
It’s also important to have discussions about the arrival of the new baby with your child. Now's the time to buy positive big brother, or big sister books, and have them watch affirming TV shows (if they watch TV) that encourage and display healthy relationships between siblings. My son did not watch TV prior to his sister being born, but "Daniel Tigers' Neighborhood" has some good clips on Youtube that showcase a new baby joining the Tiger family. My husband and I constantly read A Little Golden Book, "The New Baby" to my son, and replaced all the names of the characters with our names. This particular book includes the parents explaining the process of mommy going to the hospital, and finally bringing the new baby home to the child. This was very helpful to us, and may be helpful to you if you are also having a hospital birth! I must have read it a thousand times, and he still asks me to! (I will link all of these resources below.)
Setting realistic expectations and boundaries are crucial when preparing your child for a sibling. Imagine telling your child that he and his newborn sister will play together, and they will give each other big hugs. Then, upon meeting, he is scolded "No touch," or "She's too small!" Totally confusing. Instead, by making references to books, for example, or through real life experiences, you can discuss with your child the realistic ways he can look forward to interacting and helping you with baby! “Look, he’s helping his mama! When mama feeds baby sister, will you be a good helper and get mama the burp cloth?” “See the baby in the picture? She has a dirty diaper! When mama changes baby sister’s diaper, you can get me the wipes from the basket!” “Look at that tiny baby! When your baby sister comes, we can’t touch her face, but you can tickle her feet!” Communicating these realistic future moments and boundaries with your child will keep them involved, and mentally prepared while transitioning.
Another key to a smooth transition for your child is to encourage an "affection connection" early on. Explain to your child that "his" baby sister is in mama's belly, as oppose to "mommy and daddy's” baby. This will prevent your child from feeling replaced or jealous. Encourage your child to kiss, and speak to your belly if he wants. This can help him make the connection that there is another human coming, and can teach him to express fondness early on. Throughout the span of my pregnancy, I showed my son lots of pictures of baby girls on Pinterest, and said, "Aw look, it's a baby sister!" Here are some additional ways for building a connection: When you read to your firstborn, let him know baby sister is in your belly listening with him too. If you spot a baby crying, you can encourage your child, "Oh, look, that's a baby sister just like yours in mama's belly! Uh oh, she is crying. I hope she is ok!" To this day, when my son hears his baby sister cry, he shows a sense of empathy, and a desire to help. This has been wonderful to see!
The last way to prepare your child for a sibling occurs at the very first time of their meeting. It has become a popular practice to "gift" your child something from baby. This act lays the foundation for a positive, caring relationship right from the start...not to mention it is super cute to watch unfold! Our newborn "got" our son a stuffed animal dog from Melissa and Doug as seen below. He loved it and we helped him understand the transaction by having him say, "Thank you for my doggy, baby sister." Months later he still thanks her for the doggy! Upon meeting, we also encouraged our son to choose and wrap a gift for his baby sister. My husband and I wanted him to choose something really special, but my son picked out a little doll from the dollar store, and said "For beebee sistir!" We were sold.
I hope you enjoyed these helpful ways to prepare your child for a sibling! These are tried-and-true in my personal experience, but they may not work for everyone because every child is different! Please share in the comments below how you successfully prepared your child! I'd love to hear your tips, and share them with the rest of our growing community!
Cool, Calm, and Collectedly Yours,
This is an affiliate link to the doggy my newborn daughter "gifted" my son, upon her arrival!
This is an affiliate link to another favorite book we constantly read to our son prior to our daughter's birth. It acknowledges the transitions a boy will go through when he welcomes a new sibling!
This is an affiliate link to another favorite book we constantly read to our son prior to our daughter's birth. It recognizes God, and shows various animal families welcoming a new baby!
