How to Leave the House (and Function in Public) with a Toddler and a Newborn
Happy Thursday, friends! Us mamas need to stick together, and that includes sharing our tips and tricks for getting out of the house with a toddler and a newborn...without losing our minds! Leaving the house, and functioning, with two kids can feel daunting, especially if you thought one child was hard enough. When my daughter came into the picture four months ago, I wondered how I could control both kids while being out and about on my own? Overtime, I have established a successful routine for leaving the house with my kids that gives me the confidence to go about my day. If you're attempting to leave the house today, or ever, with two or more, then keep on reading…this post is for you!
The first step to successfully leaving the house with your toddler and newborn, is to prioritize their needs before you even step out the door. Change your toddler's diaper, place him in a highchair, put on his shoes, give him a snack, and while he keeps busy, tend to ALL of your baby's needs. This includes changing her diaper, nursing to contentment, burping, and getting her into her carseat. (By taking care of the mobile toddler first, and securing him, you can then get your baby ready in a more calm and uninterrupted atmosphere.) This may not be the case for all newborns, but if my daughter's needs are met prior to our outing, she will sleep majority of the time. This is a huge advantage that allows me to focus my energy on my interactive toddler!
In order to stay sane during the car ride portion of your outing, it’s crucial to have your toddler's choice of music on hand. Now, I'm a big advocate for teaching your children that "We are listening to mommy's music now," but sometimes when you're outnumbered, and just want to keep the peace, you gotta give the kids what they want! If you're my kid, you either want Keith Green, The Greatest Showman, or “She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain when She Comes.” Talk about a versatile palette!
On your first few ventures out, it can be helpful to meet up with a “mommy friend,” (or any friend), in a safe location where you’re toddler can be in your range of sight at all times. This may be a familiar small park, playground, friend's house, library, coffee shop with play area, etc. Not only can this friend potentially add an extra set of eyes, but her older children, if she has any, can also help entertain and occupy your toddler. Shout out to my friend, Michelle! Her friendship and our mommy play dates helped me transition into life with two kids! Being around other moms keep us sane, social, and help us grow!
My next tip for functioning in public is to baby wear your newborn! This gives you the option of being hands-free so you don't have to lug around your stroller. I carry my baby wrap with me everywhere because you never know when you might want to pop the newborn in, grab your toddler's hand, and move swiftly through the crowds. As I've shared before, I personally love the Solly Baby wrap. I've tried several other wraps and carriers (Baby K’tan, Boba, LILLEbaby), but the quality, and comfort just didn't compare.
Although I'm a big believer of baby wearing, I'm a fan of using double strollers and grocery carts too! Whether you're at Target, or the grocery store, sometimes you just gotta lock your kids down! You can teach them to walk and hold your hand another time when you're attention isn't directed at the bananas in the produce aisle, am I right?! Tackle your reason for the outing first. As an incentive for being patient, they can run up and down the toy aisles of Target after! #priorities
Bringing water and snacks for your toddler will also spare you a lot of “crazy.” Depending on how long the outing, we pack all kinds of snacks: bars, yogurt, cheese sticks, bunny grahams, hard boiled eggs, pretzels...whatever it takes! Save your child’s most desired snack for those times when you have to leave a fun atmosphere. This shouldn’t be presented as bribery for obedience, but as a reward for obedience. Instead of saying, “If you come to the car right now, mommy will give you a bar,”… I recommend you say, “When we get to the car, mommy has a special yummy bar for you!!” Don’t present an “if” to your child. Don’t even give them the option! It’s “when” they come to the car because you have asked them too. My son accepts this method every time, and his mellow attitude during his departure has impressed a lot of people! As soon as we get into the car, I let him hold and peel the wrapper on the bar while I buckle him in. I also praise him for coming when mommy called! I believe this reinforces a positive association with the idea of leaving a fun atmosphere. No more “FOMO” kid, you have a bar waiting in the car! #winning
As a second-time mom, my nursing cover has been my BFF since day one, and I honestly can’t function on the go without it! It multi-functions as a nursing cover, blanket, boundary between germs, and a car seat cover for when my daughter is sleeping. My tie dye nursing cover is from Milkmaid Goods, and if interested in purchasing you can use the code MILKIT for 10% off your entire purchase, and no benefit to me! I've had the same nursing cover for over two years, and I love it!
Since my daughter was born, she has been sleeping with white noise, and we’ve found it to be very effective when putting her to sleep on the go. My husband and I use the Calm app on our androids, and our daughter listens to the "Heavy Rain" setting. Whether in the car, baby wrap, or stroller, white noise has been a lifesaver for those otherwise inconsolable, sleepy cries!
Speaking of crying, no mom wants her overtired, hungry newborn crying in public. An automatic sense of guilt overwhelms us, and every mom has felt it! When in this situation, I've discovered a great place to nurse, if I need to settle down and regain control over my children...dressing rooms. This may or may not include me grabbing a random shirt off the rack to “try on”…but in reality, I'm nursing. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and yes, I do put the shirt back where I found it!
Now let’s talk diaper changes on the go! I have a strong dislike for changing diapers in public restrooms...although I do appreciate when bathrooms actually have a changing table. Personally, I feel that it's the filthiest place to change a baby...bodily fluids, interesting smells, bowel movements. Ugh, pass! Instead I always carry a clean towel, or blanket in the trunk of my car to give myself the option of changing my child’s diaper, while the other is safely strapped into their carseat. Now, whether your kids are potty trained, or still in diapers, accidents will happen. Packing an extra set of clothes for each child will save you the hassle of a trip back home, which would definitely put a damper on your day…pun intended!
I hope sharing these tips above for leaving the house, and functioning, with a toddler and newborn helped build a bit of confidence in you! It is possible! The first time getting outside with two can be scary, but I promise it gets easier with practice! So, take a deep breath, and just go for it! Which of these tips might you try in the future? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!
Cool, Calm, and Collectedly Yours,
