How to Have a Worry-Free Night Out Without the Kids
Hey friends! I recently spent a night out at a wedding with my husband, KID-FREE, and it was amazing! It was our first time together leaving the kids for more than an hour, or so since my daughter was born 8 months ago. As much as we love “date nights" at home with dinner and a movie once the kids have gone to bed...it’s just as important to prioritize time out of the house doing things we would’ve done together before having kids! Unfortunately, leaving the kids “worry-free" is not always easy; but while it’s fresh in my mind, I thought I’d share my tips for doing just that! You’ll learn from what I did right, and from some of my mess-ups! If you’re planning a night out KID-FREE, whether it be a wedding, girls night, date night, or other event, keep on reading!
1. Give your children clear expectations ahead of time
I like to prep my kids in advance when I know I’ll be leaving them for a bit! In regards to my recent night out, I told my 2 1/2 year old son, "Did you know mommy and daddy are going to a wedding in a few days? We’re going to miss you so much, but guess what?!…You get to spend the day with Grandma and play with your cousins!! Grandmas going to put you ‘night night’ and tuck you in too just like mama! So cool!" Building this excitement and expectation in advance, allows the child to process what will be happening, while still allowing time to address any of their concerns. Sneaking out the door last minute on the day of the event may confuse, and put a damper on your child’s time away from mommy and daddy!
2. Leave specific directions for the sitter
Whether it’s Grandma, or a trusted friend that will be watching your children…make a list for them regarding your kid’s routines, time they nap/go to bed, when they eat/what they eat, allergies, “no-nos," etc. For easy access, I set up a station of diapers, change of clothes, toys, books, pajamas, toothbrush, toothpaste, and such! Let your sitter in on some problem behaviors to possibly look out for if it is concerning to you! Pro tip: To fully enjoy your time away, leave your kids with someone who respects your parenting and your boundaries enough to follow through with the guidelines you give!
3. Be sure your breastfed babies are able to take a bottle!
The convenience of being able to exclusively breastfeed my kids has always been such a blessing to me! I don’t bring bottles with me, or formula...I just breastfeed my 8 month old whenever milk is needed! Well, I had pumped milk for my daughter, but I didn’t even think to get her used to drinking from a BOTTLE beforehand! This caused some difficulty for my mom when my daughter kept refusing the bottle most of the night and missed some of her nap/bedtime. After a while, it finally clicked, she downed the bottle, and happily went to sleep! It would’ve been so much easier on my mom and daughter if I had practiced that skill with her in advance! I felt terrible…This is the time you’re supposed to tell me, “It’s OK, Laura, nobody is perfect"…haha!
4. Don’t forget to bring your pump!
IF YOU’RE BREASTFEEDING AND WILL BE OUT OF THE HOUSE FOR MORE THAN A FEW HOURS, REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR PUMP WITH YOU! (It’s possible to become engorged during your night out because all your body knows is to continue it’s usual schedule producing milk for your baby.) If you don’t want to pump in public, bring a power inverter so you can plug in/pump in your car for some extra privacy. Many kind wedding guests (women) told me not to be embarrassed as I had no choice but to pump at the only outlet in the bathroom…right next to the sink! I’ve never met so many women with my boob out before!
Note to self: Find my power inverter ASAP!
5. Leave helpful distractions for your children
My mother had already bought my son a gift, so we decided to save it for him to open after my husband and I left for our night out. This made for a super fun distraction and gave my mom some wiggle room to also tend to my daughter while he played with his new toy! Having some familiar snacks on hand added a bit of fun as well!
6. Give yourself a cushion of extra travel time
Even if you responsibly GPS your route and ETA, you still need to factor extra time in for the unexpected things that might delay you before heading to your location! Giving last minute instructions to my mom (God bless her!), extra love to our children, plus the traffic from an accident on our way there did not work in our favor! We both agreed that the next time we did anything special together out of the house, we would budget more time for surprises, and leave way earlier!
7. Know what your wearing in advance
Laying out your outfit in advance will allow you more time focusing on the needs of your children, and less time frantically shopping the day of! It would be a shame to NOT feel comfortable, or confident on the ONE NIGHT you commit to finally making it about you again, don’t you think? Go all out, and wear that red dress, girlfriend…you deserve it! ;-)
8. Charge your phone battery
This may seem common sense, but if you’re anything like me then your battery is always on 5%…Why is that, by the way?! Charge your phone, or bring your charger with you to keep an open line of communication in case anything goes sour back at home!
9. Have a bedtime routine set in place
My kids have a strict bedtime routine that makes them super easy to put to bed! My 2 1/2 year old gets put down awake and goes to sleep without a struggle! My 8 month old daughter is currently sleep training, but also goes down with the bedtime routine you can find here! The beauty of a bedtime routine is that it establishes familiarity to the child, not only on a nightly basis, but when mommy and daddy are away! If your sitter knows the routine, (which my mom insisted she write down—I love her attention to detail!) then your child won’t be too thrown out of his or her element…Change can be hard as it is!
10. Enjoy yourself and the people around you
Although I’m sure the people you’re spending you’re night out with already know that you have adorable kids, go ahead and flash them your kids’ picture ONCE, but leave it at that. It could be nice for you to elevate your conversations to that of grownups for the rest of the night! If you get anxious, remind yourself that you’ve done all you can and your child is in good hands! While it’s most important that your children get “mommy and daddy time," throughout their life, it’s also great for them to spend time with other loved ones, depending on the person in question, and given the appropriate circumstances! It can be weird! I know the feeling, but trust me, if you feel it’s time to leave them in safe hands, and be present with others for a bit…It’s time.
11. Pamper yourself
Okay, mama, you need to hear this!! If you’re going out of your way to get a sitter, and finally leave your house for a night out, then give yourself a little TLC as well! I don’t mean spend hundreds of dollars on a spa day…although that would be nice! Remember that little things can do wonders for your outward confidence! Get your hair done, nails done, eyebrows, wax the stache, shave the legs...this is serious business. Yes, we know your husband and friends love you for you, but however self-care looks for you, take care of yourself for yourself! You spend enough time every day focused on your precious little ones, brushing their hair, brushing their teeth, likely dressing them better than you dress yourself (guilty)…you are an amazing mom!! Now, find the time to practice the same dedication, love, and self care for yourself, even for ONE night…because you deserve it!
I hope you’ve enjoyed the ways I prepare myself and my children for a night out, free of worry or stress! Leaving your children can be hard, but recharging yourself, and not losing your identity in your “mom title,” as majestic as it is, can allow you coming back feeling more energized! Have you had a night out recently?! Where did you go and how did your kids respond? Leave it in the comments way down below! Share all your tips and tricks! I’m so appreciative of you all for sharing life with me! Together, let's all become more cool, calm, and collected when taking time for ourselves! Have a great night out, girlfriend!
Cool, calm and Collectedly Yours,
.
