Thoughts on Turning 31
Tomorrow I’ll be turning 31 years old. Another year older. Another year gone. It’s scary how quick time passes, isn’t it? I remember a year ago, the night before I turned 30. I thought to myself, “A new decade and fresh start for me to set and tackle new goals!” I think a part of me thought 30 would be the beginning of a more sophisticated and disciplined lifestyle…but I had gone about it the wrong way.
30 was not everything I thought it would be. I thought I’d eat healthier, and work out everyday. I wanted to cook more, clean more, wake early to meet with God, and never miss a devotion. I told myself that I wouldn’t let anxiety, fear, or letting the “what ifs” of life control me. But there was just one problem.
Turning 30 was no different than turning 29.
When I woke up 30 years old, there was no new magic level of maturity, or growth. The same struggles met me in the morning. The same lies crossed my mind each night. The same areas I didn’t water, lacked growth, and the same areas I ignored, weeds took over. Working out hardly happened, and my healthy eating habits were at an all time low. Rising early to meet with God felt like a chore, and sleep as a tired mama of two always seemed like the better choice. It’s no coincidence that at age 30, I’ve lived with more fear and anxiety than ever before… for things that have still never happened.
Always setting goals, but never achieving them. Having the “heart,” but not the “drive.” As you can tell, this can be quite discouraging… and, upon approaching my 31st birthday, the usual excitement has become a little more somber.
Don’t get me wrong, amazing things happened in my 30th year of life, the best being the birth of my sweet daughter! My family and I minivan camped as a family of four through the state of Colorado, and later road tripped all the way to Florida to visit family! The start of my instagram (@coolmomandcollected) and also this long dreamed-of blog was created! My husband and my relationship had grown closer together! My 2 1/2 year old son is now very interactive, and it’s been a gift to teach and watch him learn more and more about God’s love everyday! We found a church that we really enjoy, and have made new friends! There is no doubt in my mind that God is good, and I am so so thankful.
So what do I hope goes differently in my 31st year of life? First off, I think being a “goal setter” is great, but not without “action,” and the appropriate priorities in place. For me, those must be with God at the VERY top. I think the problem is that every year I try to improve so many different areas of my life at once, and growing closer to God gets pushed to the sidelines instead of being my first priority.
The truth is, if I never choose to work out, never choose to eat right, and never choose to do proper skincare, none of that would compare to the ENORMOUS LOSS of not choosing daily to know, live, and walk with Jesus Christ.
This new year of life, my plans are different. I’m not putting body goals, beauty goals, fashion goals, wife goals, or mom goals at the top. Instead, I’m focusing on the one goal I’ve ached to accomplish to be truly successful… not in the eyes of man, but of God: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33
I believe seeking God first will result in me taking better care of my body, my husband, my kids, other relationships, my mind, and so on. The wisest goal I can set for myself for year 31 is just that. I'm sick of watching the years pass by, and attaining “superficial goals” which leave me still feeling empty inside. I want to seek Jesus for a mind of peace… something a six pack of abs could never fulfill, so why should that take priority over God??
Sharing this with you is important to me because I know it’s something many of us struggle with. We don’t need to wait for a “birthday,” or a “new year” to make a change. While I know I’m not, and will never be “perfect,” I do feel that I’m getting my priorities straight, and I will view each year as a marker of learning in this decade of my growth! So here’s to 31! I plan to return in a year, and I’m fine with the same face and body, but I’d love to have a mind and heart more reflective of Jesus!
Thanks so much for allowing me to share my heart with you in this more personal post of mine! Maybe you are also looking to see growth in your life aside from these exterior pressures we put on ourselves? Feel free to comment whatever you’d like! I always reply! I appreciate you, and I wish you a beautiful day!
Cool, Calm, and Collectedly Yours,
