5 Reasons We Chose Not to Co-Sleep
Hello my beautiful friends! Now that I’ve shared how my husband and I sleep trained our four month old in my previous blog post, I thought I'd answer another highly-asked question: "Why didn't you choose to co-sleep?" Although co-sleeping works great for some, here are a few of the main reasons co-sleeping just wasn’t for us!
1. Quality of sleep for baby + parents
When my first child was born, he slept in the bassinet beside our bed. As a new mama, I was already lacking big-time in the sleep department! On top of that, my husband…darling man…would either toss and turn in the middle of the night, or his alarm for work would go off in the early morning and wake our baby EVERY TIME. Just talking about it is enough to make the hairs on my arm stand up…Don’t you know it’s dangerous to wake a mama bear, let alone her cub!? This constant nuisance resulted in me waking my hubby to stop moving, coughing, turn off his alarm, etc! (Poor guy!) For the protection of our marriage haha, and the preservation of our sleep, we decided co-sleeping just wouldn’t work for us! In order to help everyone sleep better, we put our son in the crib right next door, and cranked that baby monitor up high. Best decision for us!! Not only did we ALL sleep better (baby included), but my husband and I could still have our quality conversations in bed without disturbing our little guy!
2. Fear of “deep sleep"
If you, or your partner are "deep sleepers," it can be quite scary to sleep with a small child in your bed! I’ve heard stories of moms who have woken up in the morning to find their baby in their bed without remembering how, or when they brought them there! That’s how deep “restless, new-mama sleep” can be! I, personally, couldn’t handle knowing my husband or I could potentially sleep “too deeply,” and in return possibly roll onto our baby!
Oh…and at the time my husband and I slept in a full size bed. Yup, for eight years of marriage, and not one complaint. Spoon baby, spooooon!
However, a full size bed is just not big enough, or safe enough for co-sleeping, in my opinion!
3. SIDS scares
"Experts recommend against co-sleeping because it can increase the risk of sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI) including SIDS and fatal sleeping accidents." There’s a lot of controversy with SIDS and co-sleeping, but this was enough for me and my husband to be turned off by the idea. As mamas, we occasionally have to make decisions for our children that may involve some “risks." This was one of those “risks" that my husband and I did not feel comfortable taking. Of course, every mama should make the decision that works best for them and their family! I found the above quote here, on one of many websites that offer a lot of helpful material, including some positives and negatives to consider before choosing to co-sleep. Research is your friend, mamas!
4. Long-term Freedom
Many parents who co-sleep need to physically lay with their baby in bed for them to fall asleep. In these cases, babies who co-sleep tend to stay in bed with their parents longer. My husband and I desire our children to become more confident sleepers who can independently sleep in their own room, and ultimately anywhere, without needing mommy and daddy beside them to sleep! Although for many its a cultural decision to co-sleep…for us, when it’s bedtime, it’s “mommy and daddy time!" To some that may sound selfish, but my husband and I want the foundation of our parenting to come from a healthy marriage where we put each other first, and let that love overflow onto our children.
5. Intimacy with partner
I think this reason is self-explanatory! Clearly, co-sleeping will not completely keep you from intimacy (if that were true, kids of parents who co-sleep would be “only-children" haha), but I think most people would assume that it doesn’t help! Physical intimacy is of great importance to our marriage, which is why this was a big reason to consider when making our decision!
Thanks for checking out the 5 reasons why we chose not to co-sleep! I have a mixture of wonderful friends and family that do choose to co-sleep and have done so with many benefits to their family! The most important key is to educate yourself with the short term and long term pros and cons of each to make the best decision for you, your family, and your marriage!! How does your family choose to sleep, and why does it work best for you? This is a learn-from-each other, judgment-free community! Help our mamas out and leave it in the comments below!! See you on Monday!
Cool, Calm, and Collectedly Yours,
